….Someone out there is probably way too proud of that title to this day. Offensive title aside Whomp ‘Em is a game that I actively avoided for no good reason. Maybe it was the goofy name, maybe it was the terrible box art. But the fact that I had also seen few reviews for it even back in the day did not help. It wasn’t until Blockbuster video cleared out all of their old NES games for dirt cheap that I gave it a chance. What I found was a nice hidden gem, a game that I should have prioritized over drek like Wizards & Warriors III. Don’t pass this one up.
Whomp ‘Em has an interesting story behind its genesis. It was originally released in Japan as Saiyuuki World II, which was loosely based on the Journey to the West. Saiyuuki World II was a sequel to Saiyuuki World, which was an altered NES port of Wonder Boy in Monster World. I’m not going to get into the whole Wonder Boy/Adventure Island mythos but suffice it to say Saiyuuki World makes that tangled web even more complicated. Why Jaleco felt the need to reskin the game is a mystery, but outside of its ridiculous title it is nice to see some native American representation in a video game for once. And a good one at that.
Soaring Eagle’s primary weapon is an all-purpose spear. Initially the spear is short but has a number of functions. You can perform a downward stab attack or upward thrust as in Zelda II. You can hold it aloft to block projectiles and other objects as well. Lastly you can hold it out to jab enemies if swiping doesn’t work.
There are numerous secondary items that give Whomp ‘Em the feel of a Capcom title. Your life bar starts at three hearts. By collecting gourds like the bullets in Bionic Commando you can raise that to twelve. You have a single life although there are unlimited continues. However you can collect a maximum of three lanterns that function like lives/energy tanks in Mega Man. Although this is loosely based on Wonderboy in Monster Land someone is clearly a fan of Capcom’s work.
The Mega Man comparisons continue even further. The introductory level gives way to a stage select where can attempt different “tests”. Each test does not have a cleverly named antagonist, but they do drop a totem. These totems grant new abilities, some for the spear, some separate. These abilities aren’t mandatory for progress but they do make certain levels easier if completed in a particular order.
Unlike the Mega Man games these abilities are unlimited in their use. The new abilities learned come in few flavors. Some are both offensive and utility. Dart allows you to throw spears and create platforms or attack enemies although it is weak. The spinning spearhead can break down walls and repel attacks but that is near impossible to pull off. The Fire spear creates a small blast of flame and was my default for most of the game. You can also gain the ability to freeze enemies, web them up and toss them around, and even create a flying nimbus. The last ability earned after completing all tests is the Death Breath, which unleashes a dragon that destroys all enemies on screen at the cost of one heart.
A lot of these abilities are cool but ultimately see little use throughout the game. Certain powers like the spider web and freeze work on very few enemies. Depending on the order of the levels tackled you’ll either use certain abilities frequently or outright ignore them altogether. This is where the game’s nonlinear setup works against it. Because the game had to be designed around the basic spear the other abilities don’t get as much time to shine. Not that Whomp ‘Em is a short game but one or two more stages like the final level that allowed you to put all these skills to use would have been great.
Despite having a single life Whomp ‘Em is an easy game, at least until the end. It is very easy to grind out gourds to build up your life bar. You won’t need the full twelve hearts to breeze through the majority of the game since your spear is so powerful. Potions are in ready supply, enabling you to brute force your way through even the toughest boss battles. Unlimited continues are nice although the lack of checkpoints is not. The ease with which you’ll run through Whomp ‘Em ends in its final level. This one stage is far too long for its own good and throws every gimmick in the book to see you die. There is a particularly nasty zero gravity segment with infinitely respawning enemies that is a nightmare. And it culminates in one of the most insane final boss battles on the NES.
In Closing
Insane final level aside Whomp ‘Em is the epitome of a hidden gem. Whomp ‘Em remains underrated even to this day which is sad as it is one of the system’s better platformers.
