Developer: Sega Interactive Publisher: Sega Release: 10/93 Genre: Action
Dinosaurs for Hire? In the land of media this is far from the strangest idea out there. After all we have Biker Mice from Mars and Turtles that are ninjas. Few know that Dinosaurs for Hire predates nearly all of its anthropomorphic brethren by a few years. My knowledge of the property is only slight; my older brother was mostly a Marvel and DC Comics guy and only dabbled in comics from other publishers including Malibu. The comic did not take itself seriously and was aware of its silly premise. The game plays it straight and while the action will not keep Konami up awake night this is a pretty good run and gun action game.
The Dinosaurs for Hire in the title refers to Archie, Reese, and Lorenzo. While they look like dinosaurs the trio is actually aliens who crash land on Earth. With no way home along with their pterodactyl pal Cyrano they moonlight as mercenaries to pay the bills. The game does not have an overarching plot because it does not need one. You’re a dinosaur who is paid to kick ass, what more do you need?
All three characters are playable although the only difference between each is their melee attack. That is disappointing as the game provides incredibly detailed bios of each character which would lead you to believe they will play differently. For an action game your weapon choices are light. You can upgrade your gun to a triple spread shot, exploding bullets, or a combination of the two. Melee attacks are obviously for enemies that get too close but there are problems. The hit detection is spotty and combined with the fact most enemies are smaller than your dinosaur means you will miss a lot and take damage. Three cheers for accuracy I guess but it is frustrating in action.
The early stages are non-stop blastathons as you would expect. It is here that the game is at its best. Despite the lack of cool weapons the absurd enemies and situations carry the game and help you forget about that. The first stage’s trek up a skyscraper to face off against a giant bull demon is an excellent way to start the game after the initial Dam fake out. Hollywood is a movie set in disarray and an awesome set piece. But once the levels become more elaborate and have you solve mini puzzles it stumbles. The maps become confusing with many instant deaths. I dislike gotcha moments like this and I hate it here. The game would have been better if they stayed focus on its strong points.
Overall Dinosaurs for Hire is not too difficult. There are cheap hits from off screen enemies and any time you are in melee range it becomes a shit show. But the game is balanced in that life restoring food is abundant, even during some boss battles. The confusing level design will lead to some wasted lives but they are easy to come by and you can set more in the options. The boss battles can be brutal if you die since you lose all of your power-ups and weapons. It is a tall order to take down some of the more aggressive mayors in the game with nothing but the standard machine gun but even in light of that I doubt most will have trouble completing the game in one afternoon.
Even though Dinosaurs for Hire does not have the special effects of many late Genesis games it still looks great. I will admit I did not expect much; Ex-Mutants, the first Malibu title was a subpar effort. Sega and Malibu Interactive put in work on this one. The environments feature intricate details and the grainy color palette gives it a grungy look that feels appropriate. Nearly every stage has multiple layers of parallax scrolling for added depth. The bosses are large multi-jointed sprites that while a bit pedestrian in their animation still look fantastic. The only thing missing is the satirical elements of the comics. But considering how risqué it could be and the stuff they would parody Sega probably did not want a lawsuit.
Dinosaurs for Hire is an enjoyable action experience overall. There are little things that prevent it from reaching that upper echelon of action games like Contra: Hard Corps and Gunstar Heroes. Mostly it comes down to polish. The later levels increase the interactivity with the environment but the delineation is not always clear. This crops up toward the end and affects some boss battles. Making all three characters the same sucks and one that stands out as they did half the work in showing how they are different. The lacking weapon selection also stands out. By the midpoint you will desperately want something new and more powerful as the bosses become bullet sponges. These are the little details that make good games truly great and Dinosaurs for Hire slightly misses the mark. Despite that it is still pretty damn good.
In Closing
Dinosaurs for Hire is a good action game and a hidden gem. Sega’s collaborations with Malibu Comics were often questionable but this is the best title to come out of that relationship. Once you grow tired of Contra and Shinobi III Dinosaurs for Hire makes a good second tier option if you want more action.
