Developer: Wolf Team Publisher: Renovation Release: 1991 Genre: Simulation
Telenet/Renovation is responsible for some of my favorite early Sega Genesis memories. With titles like Valis and El Viento under their belt they were a shining light in a sea of mediocrity early on. Of course not every title they published is a banger. Earnest Evans is one of the most reviled games on the system and with good reason. Traysia is one of the most generic RPGs I have come across and is utterly forgettable. And then there is Dino Land. The name suggests a 2d platformer. Surprisingly Dino Land is a pinball game, and a bad one at that. The Genesis is blessed with many fantastic pinball games and this is not one of them.
Dino Land surprisingly has a plot. Of course it is nothing special but does lend context to the gameplay. One hundred million years ago, between the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods, lived a small but mighty dinosaur named Dino-Bunz. When he found out he could take down the big guys by rolling up and launching himself at them, he was ready to rock and roll. This all came at the right time too, because his girlfriend, Meeshell, was kidnapped by a gang of dinosaur villains, and he’s now on his way to save her in a prehistoric pinball world.
At its heart, Dino Land is fantasy pinball with adventure elements. You control paddles to hit your ball across multiple themed tables, battling enemies, triggering events, and fighting bosses. The goal of the game is to save Meesha but neither the game nor manual tells you how to accomplish this. I will get to that. Dino Land as the name suggests uses dinosaurs and the prehistoric era as the theme for its tables. There are three tables representing Land, Sea, and Air. Land is the base while the other two are more or less bonus areas presenting opportunities to earn massive points. Accessing them however is a damn nightmare, one the idiotic instruction manual does not help with.
Despite its theme the problem with Dino Land is that it is boring. The physics are poor which is the kiss of death for a pinball game. The momentum and bounce angles feel unpredictable which kills the appeal. I struggled to consistently aim the damn ball where I wanted. For a pinball game you need some measure of control to target specific areas and trigger bonuses. Dino Land lacks that. The playing field is small which limits visibility and depth. There are only a few points of interest and you will spend more time trying to hit the slot machine than anything else as it is key to the game’s bonuses. Good luck getting the rolls you need consistently however.
But beyond these flaws each table does not have much going on. The stand out titles in the genre like Dragon’s Fury have plenty of incidental events to liven up gameplay. These can be as simple as opening up new areas of the table, producing enemies that grant point bonuses or even whisking you away to cool bonus rooms. The Land table has few of these and is where you will spend the lion’s share of the game. It quickly becomes repetitive killing the same T-Rexes and other dinosaurs in short order. Despite the presence of two other tables you can and will easily fall and go back to the Land area which is lame. I can appreciate what they were going for: Devil’s Crush/Dragon’s Fury and their awesome bonus rounds and structure is why I love that game so much. They botch the attempt for the same here badly.
There are boss battles in Dino Land although the way you access them is a bit obtuse. You must hit nine specific points on each table and then land your ball in the designated hole where you are whisked away to the boss. These boss battles are not as simple as you think. Not only do you have to hit the boss to defeat them you also contend with the invincible Ball Eater. The Ball Eater circles around the room to capture Meesha. The only thing you can do is transform and touch him to switch his pathing. Juggling attacking the boss and dealing with the Ball Eater is tough and makes boss battles more active. Luckily these encounters are only for a massive point bonus and not crucial to finishing the game. Speaking of which……
Where most pinball games are setup to score as many points as possible before running out of credits Dino Land actually has an ending. If you manage to accrue 100 million points the game ends. But the likelihood of you ever seeing it is next to impossible. Not just because the game is tricky and difficult. But because you will lose interest long before ever coming close to that point. Other pinball games like Crue Ball and Dragon’s Fury keep your attention with fantastic table design, theme, and such. Dino Land is lacking in these categories.
With all of its flaws the long term appeal and replay value of Dino Land is low. If you had better agency in reaching the other tables and boss battles maybe it would be better. But the lacking physics and ball control would still be an issue. Pinball games live and die by their gameplay loop and this game is lacking in that regard. Your scoring opportunities quickly grow old and you are simply going through the motions. Despite the game’s generosity in terms of extra balls and ball saves I could not muster the enthusiasm to see the game to its conclusion. I lump it in the same category as Dynowarz: somehow they found a way to make a game featuring dinosaurs lame. That should be a crime.
In Closing
Dino Land is an endearing oddball. It is colorful, creative, and fun in short bursts, even if its physics and pacing are not as polished as Devil’s Crush. But the various mechanics surrounding scoring make it a chore. It lacks the presentation and precision physics that make its contemporaries so fun. That leaves Dino Land as a flawed game with lacking personality that can be fun in short bursts but not something you will return to constantly. About the only thing I can praise is the soundtrack. But you certainly do not need to play the game to appreciate its music. Nor should you.
