Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino’s Butt

Developer: Tengen     Publisher: Tengen     Released: 1993     Genre: Platformer

Someday someone will write a book about the mascot platformer wars of the early 90s. No farm animal was safe as the video game industry looked for anything to give them a leg up on the competition. While we got some cool games out of it like Rocket Knight Adventures there were many insipid games that no one wants to talk about. Awesome Possum is one of those games. On nearly every level Awesome Possum fails and is an awful experience. There is a reason we make fun of it to this day.

At least the title is true. There, I saved you from playing this game.

Stop me if you have heard this one before. A mad scientist is destroying the environment with his evil army of robots and it is up to our plucky anthropomorphic hero to stop him. While Awesome Possum shares a similar premise with a certain hedgehog the game does not have an ounce of its quality. It tries to copy Sonic the Hedgehog’s gameplay and fails miserably, leaving a piss poor platformer with an eco-theme that no one should play in its wake.

Awesome Possum exhibits all of the most annoying traits of the worst mascot platformers of the era. The smarmy, self-sure smirk is irritating and he just does not look appealing with his goofy jump suit. Never mind the fact that he is a brown opossum with a bushy tail. It doesn’t help that this came the same year as Rocket Knight Adventures, the other game starring an opossum that is far cooler. The game’s eco theme manifests in the trash you pick up. But it’s not like collecting one hundred nets you an extra life. It is superfluous fluff. After every level you are treated to eco themed quiz with trivia no twelve year old would know. As awful as that is that isn’t the worst part of the game. Awesome Possum actually talks. Incessantly.

This was a new phenomenon during the 16-bit era. It wasn’t enough that we had to look at these annoying assholes. Now they could talk and that was a bridge too far. Awesome Possum constantly quips, He has a comment for every situation which is impressive even though most of the cartridge size was devoted to the speech. It eventually gets repetitive, especially as he feels the need to tell you he’s awesome constantly. At least you can turn off the voices in the options. But that robs the game of its only defining feature and sadly it has problems.

His only attack is an unwieldy spin attack that is near useless. The terrible hit detection means you will take damage more than actually killing enemies. The jumping physics are all over the place as Awesome Possum literally flings about large chunks of the stage without your input. It makes no sense and ruins the already bad level design. With that in mind the items that boost your speed and jumping prowess hinder your progress and are best left avoided.

I cannot stress how bad the level design is. Enemies and collectible items are strewn about haphazardly. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Because you spend so much time being flung about there is very little of the nuanced design that makes a great platformer. The game copies Sonic the Hedgehog far more than just its spin attack. There are inclines and hills to build speed. Unfortunately it lacks that game’s physics and is more frustrating to navigate than exciting. Springs and bumpers should fling you to items or other parts of the levels. Here they are positioned so randomly I question whether there was any thought to their placement. Random best describes the gameplay. It is impossible to travel end to end in a straight line. It says a lot that you can pause and warp back to a checkpoint because it is so confusing.

There are four themed worlds with three levels each. I suppose that gives the game a decent amount of variety. But after the first ungodly long level in each area you will want it to just end. Awesome Possum is not a difficult game by any means, just frustrating. Frustration that a simple jump will send you flying for a solid minute before touching ground. Frustration at the awful hit detection that makes it better to avoid the enemies who don’t seem interested in your presence. The game showers you with extra lives and with the number of health packs make it hard to die. So you can play the game as long as you want relatively trouble free. The question is why would you?

In Conclusion

There were many awful mascot platformers in the 16-bit era. But rarely were they this bad. Awesome Possum deserves every bit of ridicule it has received over the years. Let this stay forgotten along with the other has beens like Zool and Croc.