Developer: Virgin Games Publisher: Virgin Games Release: 1993 Genre: Action
Nowadays between the gaming press and user reviews you can read hundreds if not thousands of viewpoints to gauge whether a game is up your alley. But back in the day that was not the case. Have you ever seen a game get glowing praise only to try it out and wonder what everyone else is seeing that you do not? That is my experience with Global Gladiators. The glowing reviews from the game’s press at the time prompted me to rent it back in the day. But try as I might I could not find the fantastic game that the reviews suggest was present. I have been avoiding revisiting this one for a long time but it was time to give it another chance. The problems I had with the game back in 1993 are still prevalent in 2025. McDonald’s Treasureland Adventure this is not.
Global Gladiators is a loose sequel to M.C. Kids for the NES. They share the same developer, license, and characters but are almost nothing alike. Whereas M.C. Kids is a pure platformer this is a side scrolling action game with platforming elements. Why the shift in focus I do not know; M.C. Kids is solid for what it is. Does it make it a better game? That I cannot say. I do not outright hate this game but feel its many faults bring it down quite a few notches unfortunately.
Even though Global Gladiators has the McDonalds license you would be hard pressed to tell. The art direction is gritty, dark, and mostly devoid of color. It lightens up a bit in the Arctic World but only just. They pound the environmental message into you to its detriment as it gets tiring to look at. Outside of the Golden Arches and Ronald McDonald appearing at the end of every level you would never know McDonalds put their stamp on this game. That was intentional, according to the developers. Their goal was to make a good game first. Whether they succeeded at that is up for debate.
At its core, Global Gladiators plays like a classic run-and-gun platformer. You control either Mick or Mack who are armed with a goo-shooting blaster. Your shots can arc upward or downward and have slight tracking properties. This makes hitting enemies a little easier. Unlike your typical action game the guns have recoil that pushes you back with every shot. This will cause unintentional deaths. Outside of the blasters there are no other power-ups. The only items in the game are health, clocks for extra time, and 1-ups.
Global Gladiators spans four worlds with three levels each. The primary goal in each stage is to collect thirty Golden Arches to unlock the exit. This is a relatively easy task as arches are in abundance. In fact collecting seventy five gives a chance at the bonus round. The Levels are massive and encourage exploration, with plenty of verticality and secrets to find. There are hidden platforms in midair and nooks and crannies you can only find by looking above and below. The size of the maps would normally be a strength of the game. But the developers have packed them full of so many enemies they highlight the game’s weaknesses and make it worse.
To be frank Global Gladiators is a frustrating game. There are gangs of enemies every few steps to the point of absurdity. It is nigh impossible to avoid taking damage at every turn and the game is stingy with hearts. To make it even worse there are no invincibility frames, meaning even the simplest enemy can sap your health. I swear there needs to be a study as to why European developers were so allergic to i-frames. You can take it slow and inch your way through each map. But the clock is aggressive and the levels are long; too long in my opinion.
The best course of action is to usually collect your 30 arches as soon as possible and bee line to the exit like Contra. There are occasional leaps of faith and walls but nothing complex. If it is not the enemies your primary deaths will come from slipping off platforms. Be it the weapon recoil or your character sliding off the edge of a platform for no reason, the game leans on this bullshit a lot. In all honesty even if all of these flaws were fixed I would still find Global Gladiators middling. Three levels per world is overkill, especially when they are this long. Even Sega realized this with Sonic and limited zones to two acts. Less levels and more worlds would probably have been better. But not much.
In Closing
Global Gladiators has the look of a winner. But the devil is in the details. Between its overly long levels, confusing level design, and sloppy controls it is a frustrating mess of a game. The game was created in six months and it shows. I can respect that they were able to make a complete product in such a short span of time. The lack of time for polish shows in the end product. This could and should have been a better game.
